Friday, February 20, 2004

Well, that wasn't too long away, was it? I think I was having one of those days that feels like it will never end, yet you still don't get anything accomplished.

And I have to say that sometimes older members of DH's family really stress me out. Not usually, though. Usually I can just roll with their weirdness. And over the past 20+ years I've learned that it's better to take it in small doses than big ones. (Meaning that it's better to do a short visit or two every week, rather than long visits less frequently.) But when you add another stressor to their mix, they become not just weird, but bouncing-off-walls-certifiable. And that's the position we were in on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I should add that we've been worried about two particular relatives for years. Both people, in my opinion, are seriously impaired mentally. I'm not saying they're crazy...I'm saying that their judgement is so poor at this time, that I wouldn't trust them alone. They need almost constant care, which up until now has been a series of housekeepers and non-live-in companions. (They don't have any children.) But everyone can see that they need more. In a perfect world, they'd move into an assisted living program. They certainly have the money for that sort of thing. But let me tell you, that's going to be a BIG argument when it gets brought up!

The thing that's almost funny is that each one thinks the other is crazy and should be in a home or hospital.

Oh my. I'll tell you one thing, blogging sure helps to sort all this stuff out in my mind. I don't just type, either. I type, I erase, I reorganize my thoughts into paragraphs and decide what's important and what's not. Blog therapy....there you go.

Stitching hasn't happened lately. Actually, in the few quiet moments I've had, I was reading The DaVinci Code, and it was a nice escape. Friends had told me that it could make you seriously question your faith, particularly if you're Catholic, but I wasn't that shaken. Maybe it's because over the years I've always had questions about Catholicism, and I've been interested enough to explore these questions. I know that the church's history is riddled with corruption and political maneuvering that hasn't exactly been Christ-like. I believe there's no escaping human influence on faith, whether you are Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim, or what have you. But that doesn't mean that I'd leave my faith or my church.

Here's how I see it: I am the Church. God's church on earth lives through me, not vice-versa. And if I leave the church, it becomes that much weaker and susceptible to corruption.

Well, you all are probably thinking, Doesn't she have delusions of grandeur?? But I read this wonderful book a few years ago, given to me by a teaching nun, called A New Look at Grace, by Bill Huebsch. Powerful stuff. It put to words a feeling that I've had for years, that God lives in our everyday lives, not in the Church. Certainly the church has an important place and an important function, but our experience of God in our day to day moments is what keeps us with God. And those experiences are meant to be reflected on and shared, thus we have the church. So you see, we are the church. Without our experiences and sharing, our church would die.

Ok, I'll let you all up for air. To be fair, I can't even say, "Well, you asked..." because you didn't!
Till next time....when I promise to write about stitching!

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