OK, one last daughter post and then I'll stop.
This girl is my hero. When the crying was over the next day, here is what she wrote as her AIM "away" message:
Life is short
here is me no longer having a bad day. I'm just sick of all the drama. it doesn't even matter to me right now anyway. i've got way more important things to do and to care about. to everyone who realized i was having an awful day, thank you. to everyone who caused it-- f*** you. and i'll also choose to not acknowledge you again. ever.
This was an important lesson for me, too. I should stop hovering and trust her. She's not that fragile. She's actually pretty tough.