Friday, July 14, 2006

Such a week.

DS and I enjoyed the college visits last week. Both schools were very small, and the facilities were very nice. They were only slightly larger than his high school. Is that the best environment for him? I’m not sure.

Westminster was lovely. It had a beautiful campus, it was relatively nearby (less than 2 hours), and he had a wonderful talk with the professor who is advisor to the health career students. But expensive? Holy cow.

Pitt at Bradford was really far away – It took us about 4 ½ hours to get home from there and most of it was through the Allegheny National Forest, so not only was it far, it was very isolated. I know the choice is up to him, but I really hope he doesn’t choose that school. Getting him there and back could be a real problem, especially since Dave and I decided that he’s not taking a car. Now…wasn’t that a fun conversation? We’re sticking to our guns that a) he won’t need a car on campus; b) it would be a major distraction from studying; and c) it could turn out to be one giant PITA if it breaks, has problems, etc. Of course, John doesn’t see it our way at all and gets very frustrated because he wants to discuss (argue about) it and we say that there’s no discussion. It’s ever so pleasant…..sigh.

Within the next two weeks we’ll visit two very large schools – University of Pittsburgh (main), and Penn State (main). And then a couple more small schools after that. It’s a very exciting time.

We arrived home Friday evening, and spent Saturday packing for another trip. Colleen was headed to soccer camp with her high school team, and John was going to a Nike running camp in North Carolina, so since both kids were going away, Dave and I cashed in some airline miles for a trip to Las Vegas. Needless to say, we were crazy packing on Saturday.

Unfortunately, things had been very touch and go with Dave’s Uncle Joe. He was sick for a very long time, and about two weeks ago he stopped getting out of bed. Around mid-week he was in and out of consciousness. So Sunday, after taking Colleen to soccer camp, I stopped by his house and it was evident to me that he might not live through the night.

Dave was very close to Joe. Dave’s dad left when he was only 7 years old, and his uncle stepped in to fill that void. Later, Dave became a pharmacist, like his uncle, and worked for him for 25 years. Joe and his wife never had any children, and he treated Dave and his brother like his own.

Anyways, we unpacked our bags, canceled our reservations and flights, and stayed home. And Joe passed away that evening - it was the right decision. So it was a crazy week of funeral planning and crazy-ass family stuff. (and believe me, Dave’s family is crazy.) I’m glad it’s over for the time being.

This was one of the first funerals where I noticed that I wasn’t very emotional. Joe had been so sick for so long. He had hardening of the cerebral arteries and he didn’t seem to experience much physical pain, but he had awful hallucinations and he was agitated and scared and upset most of the time…. and there was nothing we could do. Sometimes I could calm him with a word or two, but not always. Joe was in such deep distress that I actually felt happy for him to be out of that state. I also think that my grieving occurred months ago when he took a really bad turn – my tears were shed and over. And since I visited him very frequently, I was more than prepared. Certainly I’ll miss Joe, but I just can’t cry. It sounds cold, but it feels more peaceful. It’s hard to explain.

I wonder if I’ll feel the same way when my dad dies. I feel like I say goodbye to a piece of him each time I go home…I’m really emotional and cry for a few days after I get back. I wonder….because now I look at photographs and I don’t see my dad, but a memory of my dad. Augh. It’s so confusing.

I have absolutely no stitching to show you or to talk about. I long for a day to myself. I thought when I quit my other job that I’d have all kinds of spare time, but that hasn’t happened. On the other hand, I can’t imagine what my summer would have been like so far if I had not quit. Talk about stress….So I’ll shut up and I won’t complain, and hope to have something to show in my next post!

No comments:

Post a Comment