Monday, April 23, 2007

Here's why I don't get golf

Maybe I should elaborate.

I understand the reasons why people like to play golf. It's usually a social thing, like card playing or darts, but it doesn't require a team. So you can play alone or you can play in a group - whatever suits your mood and your schedule.

It's lovely to be outdoors, it doesn't have to be terribly physically demanding, and people of all ages can play.

I think the operative word here though is "play".

The "sport" of golf escapes me. I've been to a handful of tournaments with Dave and I really don't see how it qualifies to be called a sport.

First of all, although tournament players must walk the course, someone else carries their bag. (Have you ever seen the calf muscles of a professional caddy??) So the caddy carries the bag, while the golfer strolls alongside, chatting or thinking of his/her next shot.

Then, while the golfer is teeing off or putting on the green, or wherever, a team of what I'd call Shushers is on hand to make all of the spectators stop talking and stop walking. Our mere footfalls may distract them. And holy cow, don't even think of bringing in a cell phone, let alone having one go off in your pocket! You'll be escorted right out.

Compare this to the college basketball player that has to shoot a critical foul shot among screaming fans and wacky noodles being waved in the background. Or to the baseball pitcher with two outs, bases loaded, and a tie score at the bottom of the ninth. They don't get Shushers.

Just once I'd like to take a wacky noodle to a golf tournament. Or a set of those giant clappers.

So you see, I just don't get any sport that employs Shushers.


  1. I have played golf a few times and found it to be very frustrating.

  2. But you must remember that a game of golf can last four or five hours, so the man of the house is gone for the length of time. That is quality stitching time. Now stitching time is when you really need shushers.

  3. LMAO! I never thought of it that way, but "anonymous" is quite right!