Wednesday, August 12, 2009

This subtle dance - and a little stitching

We take Colleen to college this Sunday. I try not to think about it too much. After all, for as much as I'd like to stop the clock sometimes, time marches on, and we have no choice other than to deal with it.

Lately, I've noticed that my relationship with my daughter is changing, and I'm trying to be ok with that. She's subtly (and probably not even consciously) been moving away, and I feel like I'm always checking and then stopping myself from trying to pull her back. Sometimes I push away, trying to give her more freedom and space and life experience, and then she'll pull me.

It's like we're in this mother-daughter dance and we're trying so hard not step on each others toes. I guess that, just like dancing, we'll need to keep practicing until we can be effortless and graceful in this new phase in our relationship. But meanwhile, I think we're in for a few sore toes.

Truthfully, I'm happy for both of my kids as they take bigger and bigger steps (and sometimes leaps!) away from Dave and me. It does leave me with this vague emptiness, though. Like I've finished a big job that I really liked. A lot. And wonder if I'll ever like any new job as much as that one.

(You may call me the First Lady of Analogies today.)

So - last weekend I had really small stitching goals, but one of the things that I had wanted to do was to sit outside and finish the over-one stitching on the Busy Bee biscornu. No way could I do that in artificial light!

By the way, that cute little Mother Nature story I told you a few posts ago? Well, that one sweet little bee was a member of a much larger family that has built a hive under my deck that's virtually impossible to get rid of because of its weird location. How's that for gratitude for letting him sit on my fabric?? Bees. Ingrates.

And I've been hauling this LHN kit around for almost ever. Every time I go on a trip, I take it with me, and I've never once put a stitch in it. So it was time for a start. And it should be a quick finish. Simple as 3.14592

13 comments:

  1. Oh no, a hive under the deck. Eeek! I have the feeling there is a hive at my parent's place. I just can't figure out where it is! Great progress on your biscornu.

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  2. Lovely WIPs!!

    You had me tearing up, reading about your daughter. It is so hard to give them the space to let them fly, even if you've been teaching them how to do that since they were born. My oldest daughter recently said to me that I wasn't sad when she left for college last year. I told her that I had to pretend that I was fine, more importantly that SHE would be fine & just love it, so that she would go w/o worrying about us and how we were doing. I bawled like a baby when she left. The sore toes continue now that she's back for the summer and has to do household chores and has to remember that she's not the queen bee. Ah, life is so bittersweet sometimes! Big hugs--will be thinking of you this weekend.

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  3. Oh dear, the dreaded 'growing up'. I always tell new moms that it goes so fast! Of course being sleep deprived they don't believe me. It is hard to let go, that's for sure. The stitching looks terrific.

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  4. We have three daughters, and I have been doing the same awkward dance for a few years. It's kind of a strange feeling isn't it - not wanting to let them go and knowing you have to let them go at the same time?

    Your stitching is very pretty!

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  5. I left for college 25 years ago, and we're still stepping on each other's toes. I hope for your sake we're just slow learners...

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  6. I like to pretend that my little ones - 3-years-old and 6-months-old will not get any bigger than they are today. It's all I can cope with.

    Your stitching is beautiful! And bees are evil!

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  7. Kids wanting independence to move on to bigger and better things is a great problem to have!

    And I love your pi reference.

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  8. My son is 35 (EEEKKK!!) and it still seems like he's my "little boy". I have to remind myself NOT to treat him as a little boy but as an adult. I just want to hug him to pieces when I'm around him but I hold myself back and try to be satisfied with just a quick hug and an "I love you" when I leave. Letting go is hard but you'll find your "comfortable" place with her in time. I'm sure our parents experienced the same feelings with us :)

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  9. Oh Lee, I know exactly how you feel (well, only with sons instead of a daughter!). Letting go is part of the process of seeing your kids grow into adults and sometimes they make it a bit easier on us by pushing away and acting like they don't need us as much. I'll be thinking about you on Sunday... I know the tears will be with you at least half-way home.

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  10. Oh Lee, I know exactly what you must feel now. It's always so difficult to let go and nevertheless we must do it with an easy heart. And somehow we get used to it.

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  11. I suppose the "subtle dance" with my eldest son started when he was 3 and going to kindergarten... Don't worry, the job is not finished ! And the, there will be grandchildren ;-)

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  12. I suppose the "subtle dance" with my eldest son started when he was 3 and going to kindergarten... Don't worry, the job is not finished ! And the, there will be grandchildren ;-)

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  13. Good luck to Colleen! As upset as I would be with Sean going back to Penn State in the past, I knew time does march on and way too quickly. Now he's finished college already and trying to find a job. So the next step will be a job and probably a place of his own. That seems slow to me. ; )
    Your stitching looks great!

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