My two college students have both just ended their month-long Winter break. In some ways it felt VERY long, and in other ways it felt quite short.
Lately their departures leave me with this odd feeling. It's a peculiar feeling of regret and relief. Relief because our life settles back into its quiet, normal pace again. (Tell me I'm not the only one worries all the time that they go out and who doesn't sleep well until everyone is back in the house and settled into their beds) And relief because I have so much less work to do when they're not here.
But there's that feeling of regret, too. I mean, I love them and I raised them to be independent young people. But I feel a twinge of regret because, when they're here, there are times that I feel appreciated and needed. I relished that part of being a mom, and as they get older I feel it less and less. And regret because there are times during their breaks that I get a little bitchy and I know I could be nicer. Nobody's perfect, and there were times that they actually deserved smacks in the head, but still....I could let more things roll off my back. And I feel regret because both of my kids can be so darn entertaining, and I miss the laughs we have when they're not here.
What sometimes surprises me is that I get that same feeling when I visit with my mother. That feeling of regret and relief. I wonder if she feels it, too.
Enough soul searching. I'm off to stitch. That little snowman is still waiting for me!