Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Oh, it's a great day!

Well, in my last post I told you that I had gone to Ocean City, Maryland with the fam.  And when I go to the beach with them, I don't count on being able to sit in one spot and read until my eyeballs fall out - which would be quite nice, but doing things with my family can be ok, too.  (I am still campaigning for that Mother of the Year award).

So anyway, when I'm at the beach with them, I can usually count on going for walks and occasionally wading into the waves and even sometimes swimming in the waves.  And all of those things require wearing the dreaded bathing suit.

I hate, hate, hate buying bathing suits.  Consequently, I just don't.  I avoid it at all costs.  I wear suits until they are so worn out and ugly that I could actually be used as shark repellent when I wear them.  (Insert Gordon Ramsey's voice here, as he pretends to be a shark:  "What is that?  That's disgusting!") My last "new" suit?  Well, we were on vacation at Bass Lake in North Carolina several years ago, and I found it in a dresser drawer.  So I washed it and put it on.  And said, Hm.  This fits.  And wore it for 5 years.  Gross, I know, but clearly I have no pride or self-respect when it comes to bathing suits.

And that was the little number I wore to the beach last weekend.  As we were walking down the beach, I came to the realization that spending the winter in my closet had not magically rejuvenated the elastic in the legs.  So my lovely walk with my husband was more like Step-Step-Tug, Step-Step-Tug.  It completely ruined the romantic hand-holding.  And swimming was even more fun.  The waves were rough, and I took a few good tumbles, but when the day was over and I went back to the shower I realized that I had taken at least half of the beach away with me.  All stored in my crotchal region.

If only I had been this cute.
So I decided it was time to break down and buy a new suit.  I wasn't in the proper frame of mind to hit the mall.  I'm going to bet it was slim pickins there anyway, especially since the bathing suits had been hanging on the racks since...oh, about....February.  So I decided to order a suit through mail order.

(No, I didn't order it from Victoria's Secret.  I've probably been blackballed by that company for my extreme snarkiness.  Plus, I think a prerequisite of buying one of their suits is the willingness to stand around with your thumbs in your pants, looking like you can't wait to disrobe.)
 
Well, my suit arrived Thursday and Miracle of Miracles, it fits!  I even got approval from my daughter (in the form of "Oh, that's cute"), so I'm pretty doggone happy about that.  Do you want to see it?

You didn't think I'd be IN it, did you?  Silly you.
So now shore towns up and down the East Coast don't have to worry about sand replenishment each time I exit the beach.  But swimmers need to beware.  Those sharks are mighty hungry after 5 years.

16 comments:

  1. OMG! I can't believe you admitted to how you acquired your last bathing suit! You are too funny. I do like the new one.

    Pam

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  2. This post is hilarious! That is just the cutest bathing suit (your new one.. but the baby's is cute too ;-). Bet you look great in it!

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  3. Great post!! and that bathing suit is so cute! Don't feel bad about not buying one sooner- mine is old too.. and the other one I have is a hand-me-down. I guess I need to buy a new one too! Maybe when they go on clearance this year.. ;)

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  4. So, what is the secret to buying a swim suit online and having it FIT?

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  5. Too funny!! Yes, do tell how you order a suit online and have it fit!! Plus, where did you order that cute suit from??? I won't even say how long it's been since I've had a new suit!

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  6. You always make me smile, Lee :)

    Your new suit is spectacular--can't imagine buying one online. I have enough trouble in the stores... Glad to know the beaches are once again safe from your sand-grabbing old suit!!

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  7. Love the new suit. Very sassy. ;)

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  8. Oh, I hate trying on new bathing suits too! Your new one looks great!

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  9. Your post made me laugh! I hate bathing suits with a passion and avoid buying them at all costs. Then I found Lands End and they fit!! I like your new one!

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  10. lands end? i ordered the brown one for my vacation this year too! love it!

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  11. I hate bathing suits too. That one is really nice!

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  12. Love the sorry tale, lol but totally agree, it's the worst thing to buy. Do like the new one.

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  13. Love the story of your swimsuit! You are not alone, mine is many years old...hmmm...must remember to check the elastic around the legs before I put it on again! lol Love your new suit!

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  14. Too funny. I like your new suit. I can relate to your post about wearing your suit til it's so old and out of style... I too, purchased a new one this year, and was pleased with it.

    Glad you got to Ocean City. I'd love to go there someday, and visit Salty Yarns myself.

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  15. Too, too funny! Thank you for letting us know that buying a new bathing suit isn't as bad as a crotch full of sand!!!

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  16. You sound like me with wanting to try on bathing suits. I ordered my last one, as well, and it working out quite nicely. Yours is just beautiful! I love it! I went with a tankini with the swim skirt, too. I love that it has such a feminine feel to it without being very revealing. It's a nice, comfortable feeling.

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