Me: Hey, I bought some of that Dannon greek yogurt you like.
Daughter: Cool, thanks.
And the next day:
Me: Did you eat that half container of yogurt I put in the freezer?
Daughter: Yes...were you saving it?
Me - just barely beginning to whine: Well, yeah. I wanted it for my breakfast this morning.
Daughter - feeling contrite: I'm sorry, I didn't know you wanted it. I'll freeze another one for you.
Me - in a full whine: But I wanted it now. For my breakfast. And it's gone.
Daughter: I'm sorry.
Me - launching into full martyrdom mode: And by the way, quit eating all the half containers of yogurt anyhow. I'm obviously saving them for later. And stop dropping cereal on the floor. And if you drop a berry, pick it up or it gets squished into the floor and stains it.
Daughter - who has had enough: I'm SORRY Mom. Sheesh, what will you do if I ever do anything seriously wrong?
Me: Silently hanging head in shame.
It's a good thing the college summer break is almost over. Even I can't stand myself anymore.