Friday, November 18, 2011

Tis the Season

Awww.  You all are way too nice with you stitchy compliments.  You make a girl blush.  Thank you.

So.  My daughter and I have been trading emails lately because she has an idea of what she wants for Christmas and wants to make sure I know what it is, because it appears that my gift giving skills have been sub-par lately.  She doesn't want to run the risk of me running out and buying something similar to last year's gift.

December 2010:
Daughter:  Hey Mom, I think I know what I want for Christmas (or birthday - whatever).
Me: Oh really, well I've already bought your gift.
Daughter:  Ohhhhh.  Okay. 
Me:  You're gonna love it.  It's great.

Christmas morning 2010:
Daughter: You got me... windshield wipers? 
Me:  Yeah!  Aren't they the best?

Personally, I think new windshield wipers are the perfect Christmas gift.  You never think to buy them until it's pouring rain and you can't see.  Or till they get caked with ice and then you're driving down the road and they fly off your car.  It's one of those little things that only your mother would remember.  Like warm socks.  But for your car's windshield.

Well anyway, so here comes Christmas 2011 and she sends me this email of the thing she wants and makes no bones about telling me that her 2010 windshield wipers are in fine shape and she doesn't need anymore, thank-you-very-much.

Ahem.  These kids don't know from dumb gifts.  My parents gave me a vanity suitcase full of deodorant one year.  And it had an electric razor inside, too.  I was twelve.  Evidently I was one smelly and hairy prepubescent girl.  That was a sucky gift. It was sub-sub-par. 

What was your most memorable sub-par gift as a kid?  Or as a young adult. Write about it.  Because I want to go read your blogs and then buy every one of those gifts for my children. 

They're going to wish they had windshield wipers when I'm through with my shopping this year.


  1. This is so funny. The worst gift I ever got was a bundle of sticks from outside wrapped together with twine. I was told it was to add style to my home. They had a real spider on them, that's how I knew they were from outside.

  2. Too funny! I can't even remember the worst gift. My parents give me money every year because they haven't figured me out after 36 years. It's a drag to do you own shopping all the time.

  3. LOL! My husband gave me a bag of orange jelly candies one year. He wrapped them with one of his shoes so I'd think, "OOOh, heavy box!" 1 -- I'm diabetic. 2 -- he loves orange jelly candies. Nuff said. Oh, but he's made up for that in the subsequent years.

  4. LOL,
    my ex husband bought me a bar of soap one year, hence why is my EX husband, lol

    (ps he is still as mean today as he was then!)

  5. My ex husband, who was 1/2 an inch shorter than me, gave me a pair of 2" heels for Christmas. Not my size, definitely not my style. And he had no clue where the receipt was. Two years later, it was a vacuum.

  6. rotflol

    I can hardly wait to hear how you get the to thank their lucky stars they get windshield wipers. :)

  7. Maybe it wasn't the worst gift but it was most definitely the most upsetting. As a child I LOVED lego's. I wanted more. Mom is frugal (should say cheap and call it what it is)and she found some building blocks that she 'knew' would work with the lego's - they didn't. It sucked.

    As an adult - I went and bought more to add to my set. Then the kids came along and I got them their own sets. I still have my set. Not that I have played with them in 15 years.

  8. I can't think of a worst gift. My mother was good at following lists, as is my husband. A little guidance is never a bad thing, in my book. I can't think up anything for my own kids this year so I want to know what your daughter asked for. My daughter sent me a list of what she DIDN'T want but has yet to send me a list of what she does want. So, no shopping has happened yet.


  9. When I was 10, I wanted a real skateboard in the worst way. I had one that a neighbor kid had made from a piece of wood and old skate wheels, but I got splinters from it.
    I got a slide rule instead. I never did learn how to use it!
    I could use those windshield wipers, mine are wearing thin.

  10. My mother-in-law has given me jammies, TWICE, and not my style at all. Not that she'd have a clue what I wear in bed. Duh.

  11. I don't remember getting sub-par gifts as a kid. Even as a teen, my Mom had us kids make up lists and she would buy from them. In my 30's, that was a different story. My Mom gave me men's leather work gloves!! MENS! I do nothing that require leather work gloves. Humph!

  12. My worst practical gift was my freshman year in college when my mother bought me a scientific calculator for Christmas (because I was taking Calc the next semester and needed it).

    My mom managed to stay away from the sub-sub-par category, but I remember a disastrous year when she bought me clothes and none of them fit or looked good on me. I was a teen at the time. There was lots of moping.

    She was (and is) brilliant at buying clothes for my 3 step-sisters. She completely misses the boat when buying clothes for her own daughters. (She also does OK with my brother.)

  13. About *4* years ago, my mother bought me a vacuum cleaner. Even after I told her that I didn't want a fucking vacuum cleaner for Christmas. Don't do it, Lee. Christmas isn't the time for jokes.

  14. Oh my God. My gift suggestion strategy anti-worked.

  15. And Anna, I like the way you think. Although I do like vacuum cleaners.

  16. The worst gift I ever got was as a freshman in college...a laundry basket and a roll of quarters. That's it. Practical? Yes. Fun? Not at all!